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OUR OFFICAL STUFF:
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Offical spelling:
H*J*E*R*R*A*P*H*T*E*Z*
Offical colors:lavender sparkles
Offical person we hate: Lisa Ling
Offical songs: Britney Spears, "Winnie the Pooh", "No Scrubs"
Offical symbol: the small bead chains from NRM
Offical mascot: the giraffe
OUR MEMBERS AND THEIR TITLES:
BECKY-QUEEN CO-FOUNDER
ZAC-CZAR CO-FOUNDER
JEFF-LORD CO-FOUNDER
TOM-god
TERESA-"LAUNDRY" LADY, HORSE
BRANDY-COUNTESS,SPAWN OF THE ETERNAL FIRES OF HELL,MAYTAG/WASHING MACHINE
JAMIE-CLERGY, SERF, TOMATO, JESTER
BOB-ASSASSIN (YES,BOB IS A REAL PERSON!!)
AMANDA-PRINCESS
ELIZABETH-DUTCHESS
JOHN-ENEMY
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A GOOD DAY FOR BEING IN HELL-BY JEFF
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Some people may say that no day is a good day to be in hell, but I have news for you
people. EVERYDAY is a good day for being in hell. I have interviewed many people and the consensus is simply this: HELL IS FUN!!!
One person I interviewed (Brandy)says that hell is like a carnival. She knows because she has been there so long. According to her, hell can be just as fun as riding a Ferris wheel, or even being high. Brandy is high all the time. However she is not in hell for doing drugs, she is in hell because of her violent tendencies. But I have strayed off the point, the point is that hell is fun. Yes, fun. Think of it. You can frolic in eternal fires, have wild orgies all day long, and even like
Britney Spears without getting in trouble. And despite what some may say, hell has no peer pressure. Just because Satan/Lucifer/666 wears a certain pair of flair jeans, you don�t have to. You can be free. Even to the extent of wearing no clothes if you so desire.
Another person I interviewed (Amanda) says: �Hell is fun because Angel was here for an eternity and we could have erotic sex all day long. Though I have better sex with my boyfriend Andy because he is....bigger.� Has Amanda gotten in trouble for this?NO! Because she is in hell and hell is fun!
Out of fairness, I interviewed one person who was sent to Heaven...(Becky) Becky had this to say: �Heaven sucks. I hate it. God makes us wear really ugly, tight, stretchy leather. I think He may be gay...� Now, had Becky NOT been innocent on Earth she wouldn�t be forced to be God�s play thing.
Finally, I interviewed the King of the Underworld himself (Tom). Not suprsingly, the Prince of Darkness welcomed me with open arms. He reminded me of Stephen Dorff in �BLADE�, but with darker skin. Anyway, the Main Man had this to say: �Come to hell. It�s fun. Really. Are you a convict? A prostitute? A druggie? A teeny-bopper? Then come on in. I promise you won�t regret it.� So you see folks, hell is indeed fun. If the man in the big red suite (not Santa) says so then it must be true...
In conclusion, I have one more thing to say: Anytime you have a chance to be bad, TAKE IT!!! You may only get a few million chances to choose the wrong path in your life. Don�t ever do the right thing by helping out the elderly, aiding the sick, cleaning out the parks,ect...Just do the things that are fun! Like shooting birds and beating up little children. (Taking Shaolin may help in this.) The devil will think you!
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LETTER FROM OUR ENEMY, JOHN
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Dear Hjerraphtez,
I hate all of you. Why? I don�t know, the world was against me and I needed a scapegoat.
Someone to blame for my troubles and agonies, so I chose your little gang. It is your fault
that I am the way I am and you shall each suffer for it. Why do I hate you? Well, besides
you being the reason for all my sufferings in life, um...there are other reasons too. I LIKE
Lisa Ling. Not only is she a well rounded reporter for the classic Channel 1 news show,
but she is also my sister. The belly button ring thing was totally her choice and she wears
bright cloths to SCARE soldiers since those people over there aren�t used to such radiant
cloth.
reason number 45 and a half; lavender sparkles? I just don�t understand. Lilac or maybe
even violet sparkles would work. But lavender is just a big no-no.
Ok, although I would really love to destroy you all, I WILL spare a few, Zac will be
spared on account that I go to school with him everyday. Becky will be spared cause
she�s his sister. Jeff will NOT be spared cause I hated him long ago and he will die. And
so will everyone else cept Bob cause he�s just to strong for me.
YOUR FRIEND
JOHN:)
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